Awkward Christian
Confession: I’m just the tiniest bit type A. Here’s proof: Why, yes, this is my outfit planner for August, along with the little notecards I use with all my clothes on them. At the beginning of each month, I shuffle the deck and see what I’ll look like for the next month. (I was using …
It’s Okay to Try Too Hard, Care too Much and Overthink EverythingRead More
Here’s an ambition that sent me running in the wrong direction for most of my Christian life: I wanted to be “spiritually successful.” In some ways, it was a great goal. My church’s mission is to disciple “fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ.” That was part of what I thought of us as spiritual success—deep engagement with God and …
What If Everything You’ve Been Taught About Being ‘Successful’ Is Wrong?Read More
Dear Portia, I keep praying for healing, and I am not healed, but someone else in my circle did get healed and I am trying to be okay with this but I am not. A Dear A, Is it even possible to ad your question without using some sort of offensive platitude? Let’s attempt it, …
[Trigger warning: Conversation about abuse. ] Can we talk about a big clobber word? Abuse. Also, its derivatives: abusive and abuser. They’re ugly words, kind of like the word racist or rape. Be an abusive parent, and you might get your kids taken away, or, at the very least, be shamed and ostracized. Abuse is horrible, horrifying, beyond the pale. I’ve experienced abuse a few …
Best are those with minimal blood: perhaps poison, asphyxiation, or even strangulation. But even better is the off-camera death, where we don’t see the victim stalked by their killer. Oh, I like a murder that feels staged—and that’s also available on Netflix. My husband and I watch at least three murder mysteries a week, usually …
The day I realized my anxiety about the Bible wasn’t going away, I thought I’d completely placed my fretting in God’s hands. After settling in my green easy chair, I found the passage in Matthew for my new reading plan—the plan I saw as a new leaf in my spotty devotionals. I wanted to finally …
My friend Melissa has a way of being kind that also makes me think. We were out for coffee, talking about books. Specifically: about my anxiety about wanting to read more. By most measures, I read a lot, but with the advent of smart phones and parenthood, I read less then I used to. Recently, …
I Won’t Say I Read Trashy Books Anymore—For The MudroomRead More
I got a lot of compliments on my pink pussy-hat at the Women’s March. I didn’t knit one; I don’t knit, and also: time. I thought about sewing one, but realized the night before that I didn’t have enough pink fabric. Then I looked in our hat drawer and realized I had a pink hat …
I was 22 when I read Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street. The book, told from the perspective of a young Latina girl, chronicles the hardships of growing up in a marginalized, impoverished family. The book was simple like a Zen garden is simple: gorgeous, spare, shimmering. In other words, not simple at all. …
The Uncomfortable, But Necessary Cost of Solidarity: For SheLoves MagazineRead More
Dear Awkward, How do you deal with toxic or mentally ill people who have harmful behaviors and stay sane? You have no choice but to deal with them—they’re your family or your boss. How do you get them to seek the help they need? Or, to understand they have an issue? JP Dear JP, I …
Dear Awkward: How Do You Stay Sane with a Mentally Ill Person?Read More
It’s never good when rum seems like the only solution. Picture this scene five years ago: it was 1 AM, and I couldn’t sleep—again. Back then I didn’t realize how common my sleep problem was. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine estimates that 15 to 20% of adults struggle with insomnia in the short term, …
A necklace really shouldn’t cause anyone this much anxiety. I bought it from a friend selling those fabulous accessories made by women moving out of poverty. Cute jewelry + women’s empowerment. Win-win. I haven’t gotten myself a new necklace in years, I thought. It’s for a good cause. I scrolled through the catalog and found a …
I’m doing a five-part series on questions to ask about your closest relationships to figure out if they might be the root of some anxieties. You can see the whole series here. A friend of mine was sexually abused in high school. Her abuser kept her from ending their “relationship” for two years by regularly threatening …
Anxiety in Relationships: Does this person threaten me?Read More
Want to read this entire series? Go here. If you suffer from anxiety, it’s tempting to view it as if it were an addiction we bring only on ourselves. I thought this way for a long time—if I were a better, stronger, more intentional person, I’d be able to stop feeling anxious all on my own. …
Five Questions to Ease Anxiety In Your RelationshipsRead More
I had the bestiest of best intentions when I bought the One Year Bible. I’d neglected a regular quiet time since college. The all-in-one reading plan seemed like the perfect way to dive back into daily time with God and Scripture. I did pretty well—for a while. But little by little, I fell horribly behind. …
The One Important Thing that Can Transform Your Quiet Times: For iBeleiveRead More
We occasionally get pre-made pizza dough from Trader Joe’s. My husband always managed to spread it thin. Whenever I tried, though, the lump of dough felt like rubber. And then, one day, I decided to read the package directions. Turns out you have to let the darn thing rest before you spread it flat. It …
Not long ago, a reader (I’ll call her K) asked if I thought she should get my new anxiety course for a friend. K thought her friend could really use it. But she worried that getting it would seem pushy, since on other occasions, the person didn’t seem open to K’s help. I told K …
In my premarital class, our pastor had everyone take a Myers-Briggs assessment. When my husband and I both got our results, we smiled at each other: we were just one letter apart. He was an INTP (introvert, intuition, thinking, perceiving), and I was an INFP (feeling). It made sense. Similar as our temperaments are, there’s a …
It was a shock when I realized I was imitating a Biblical villain. I’d been married for about eight years when I studied the book of Esther with Beth Moore’s curriculum. A few weeks in, Moore talked about the story’s enraged anti-hero, Haman, identifying his meanness as the “spirit of Haman.” “As Christians,” Moore said, …
Last November, I decided to create a new mini-course for my blog subscribers for the New Year. After meditating on what I’d write about, I settled on anxiety. Learning how to live well with anxiety has seriously changed my life. It’s like learning how to turn off a malfunctioning fire alarm. The siren still goes off …
Anxiety Isn’t the End of Bravery. It’s the Beginning.Read More
Do you struggle to cry? Do you stand above your life sometimes at crucial moments and feel as if the emotions you’re feeling are like water running below you, while you’re up on a bridge, watching them rush away? And you think, Wait, shouldn’t I feel like crying right now? Someone please tell me I’m …
It would be so much easier to bear a Trump presidency if I hadn’t learned about structural racism. Easier if I’d avoided stories from my black and brown friends about micro-aggressions, ignored history, police violence, and daily grief. Easier to stay positive if I hadn’t figured out exactly how sexual assault happened in my high …
I’m Thankful for My Grief About the Election: For The MudroomRead More
My parents, two siblings and I haven’t eaten Thanksgiving dinner together since I was in elementary school, about three decades ago. The dysfunction in our family is deep and old. I’d like my family holidays to be easy. But this late in the game, I’m not holding my breath. However, even if easy isn’t possible, simple …
3 Questions to Simplify Holiday Dysfunction: For No SidebarRead More
When I was little, I looked forward to my sister, Katie, coming home to visit. For nearly seven years—from fifth grade to her senior year in high school—Katie lived at a Christian children’s home called Sunshine Acres in Mesa, Arizona. The Acres cared for kids whose parents couldn’t care for them—kids who’d been orphaned, abandoned, …
