Awkward Christian
The other day at Disneyland, my roller-coaster-averse family decided to ride Indiana Jones together—the first time for my two daughters, 11 and 7. Standing in line, my husband started to strategize. “You should ask for one of the back rows,” he said. The “Jeeps” for the ride have four rows—and sitting the first one is …
How Facing Conversations About Race Has Made Me Less Anxious: For Cara MeredithRead More
I recently sat down for hot beverages with a writing buddy of mine, Grace. To my surprise, she told me that she’d never felt great at writing in school, but that after she became a mother, she felt this urge to write anyway. She’s stuck with it for years now. She still struggles with that …
I really, really wanted to enjoy motherhood. So let’s just say it was less-then-ideal when my husband found me wailing in the kitchen one morning at 4 am. He ran in, his eyes burning with the intensity of someone just woken from dead sleep to an emergency. “Is Lucy okay?” he asked, meaning our six-month-old …
Confession: I’m just the tiniest bit type A. Here’s proof: Why, yes, this is my outfit planner for August, along with the little notecards I use with all my clothes on them. At the beginning of each month, I shuffle the deck and see what I’ll look like for the next month. (I was using …
It’s Okay to Try Too Hard, Care too Much and Overthink EverythingRead More
Here’s an ambition that sent me running in the wrong direction for most of my Christian life: I wanted to be “spiritually successful.” In some ways, it was a great goal. My church’s mission is to disciple “fully-devoted followers of Jesus Christ.” That was part of what I thought of us as spiritual success—deep engagement with God and …
What If Everything You’ve Been Taught About Being ‘Successful’ Is Wrong?Read More
Dear Portia, I keep praying for healing, and I am not healed, but someone else in my circle did get healed and I am trying to be okay with this but I am not. A Dear A, Is it even possible to ad your question without using some sort of offensive platitude? Let’s attempt it, …
Best are those with minimal blood: perhaps poison, asphyxiation, or even strangulation. But even better is the off-camera death, where we don’t see the victim stalked by their killer. Oh, I like a murder that feels staged—and that’s also available on Netflix. My husband and I watch at least three murder mysteries a week, usually …
The day I realized my anxiety about the Bible wasn’t going away, I thought I’d completely placed my fretting in God’s hands. After settling in my green easy chair, I found the passage in Matthew for my new reading plan—the plan I saw as a new leaf in my spotty devotionals. I wanted to finally …
When my friend Amy told me about her impromptu Fourth of July party, I didn’t want her news to be a punch in the gut. Her gathering had been last-minute: four families my husband and I had recently befriended had celebrated with a casual barbecue. Not knowing our schedule as well as they knew each …
5 Truths about Community that Will Help You Feel Less LonelyRead More
To my great surprise, I discovered I was a high soprano in Grade 8. I’d thought before that I was a mezzo (or middle) soprano, but your voice changes a lot as you grow. What my choir director and I had assumed was a falsetto, turned out to be where my voice had the most power. …
Beauty Has Saved Me Over and Over: For SheLoves MagazineRead More
My friend Melissa has a way of being kind that also makes me think. We were out for coffee, talking about books. Specifically: about my anxiety about wanting to read more. By most measures, I read a lot, but with the advent of smart phones and parenthood, I read less then I used to. Recently, …
I Won’t Say I Read Trashy Books Anymore—For The MudroomRead More
In an ideal world, major Christian holidays wouldn’t fill me with self-doubt and alienation. Take this past season of Lent. I abstained from a lot of the apps on my phone and managed to use the Book of Common Prayer to pray through some of the holy days. But as usual, it was less than …
Dear Awkward, How do you deal with toxic or mentally ill people who have harmful behaviors and stay sane? You have no choice but to deal with them—they’re your family or your boss. How do you get them to seek the help they need? Or, to understand they have an issue? JP Dear JP, I …
Dear Awkward: How Do You Stay Sane with a Mentally Ill Person?Read More
Guys, anxiety is just weird. I want it to pop up in seeming worthy places: race relations! Politics! Finding my passion and deciding who I am in this world! And I do get anxious about those things. But I also get anxious about ticky-tack stuff like what book to read next, whether the necklace I’m …
It’s never good when rum seems like the only solution. Picture this scene five years ago: it was 1 AM, and I couldn’t sleep—again. Back then I didn’t realize how common my sleep problem was. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine estimates that 15 to 20% of adults struggle with insomnia in the short term, …
A necklace really shouldn’t cause anyone this much anxiety. I bought it from a friend selling those fabulous accessories made by women moving out of poverty. Cute jewelry + women’s empowerment. Win-win. I haven’t gotten myself a new necklace in years, I thought. It’s for a good cause. I scrolled through the catalog and found a …
I’m doing a five-part series on questions to ask about your closest relationships to figure out if they might be the root of some anxieties. You can see the whole series here. A friend of mine was sexually abused in high school. Her abuser kept her from ending their “relationship” for two years by regularly threatening …
Anxiety in Relationships: Does this person threaten me?Read More
Dear Awkward, I am annoyed and irritated and bored at church. My husband loves it, but to me, our church feels like a big show: entertainment, choir performance, giveaways, and a superficial sermon. How do I look past the trappings and experience a deeper relationship with God? If other people love church so much am …
I’m amazed at how when I stop being afraid of my negative emotions they give me such helpful information about how to heal and live with integrity. My friend Dorothy Greco agreed to share some of her wise book on marriage with us on just that topic. She gracefully shares how disappointment can harm our relationship–or …
Want to read this entire series? Go here. If you suffer from anxiety, it’s tempting to view it as if it were an addiction we bring only on ourselves. I thought this way for a long time—if I were a better, stronger, more intentional person, I’d be able to stop feeling anxious all on my own. …
Five Questions to Ease Anxiety In Your RelationshipsRead More
I had the bestiest of best intentions when I bought the One Year Bible. I’d neglected a regular quiet time since college. The all-in-one reading plan seemed like the perfect way to dive back into daily time with God and Scripture. I did pretty well—for a while. But little by little, I fell horribly behind. …
The One Important Thing that Can Transform Your Quiet Times: For iBeleiveRead More
We occasionally get pre-made pizza dough from Trader Joe’s. My husband always managed to spread it thin. Whenever I tried, though, the lump of dough felt like rubber. And then, one day, I decided to read the package directions. Turns out you have to let the darn thing rest before you spread it flat. It …
Not long ago, a reader (I’ll call her K) asked if I thought she should get my new anxiety course for a friend. K thought her friend could really use it. But she worried that getting it would seem pushy, since on other occasions, the person didn’t seem open to K’s help. I told K …
In my premarital class, our pastor had everyone take a Myers-Briggs assessment. When my husband and I both got our results, we smiled at each other: we were just one letter apart. He was an INTP (introvert, intuition, thinking, perceiving), and I was an INFP (feeling). It made sense. Similar as our temperaments are, there’s a …
