I struggle to belong to other believers.
I noticed this fiercely the other day. I felt God calling me to fast for a day, a spiritual discipline I usually flee from. I found myself wanting to keep that calling a secret.
Then I realized my husband might notice me skipping meals.
When I told him, he raised his eyebrows. I’m known to be just slightly cranky when I get hungry. But after making sure I really truly wanted to fast, he said, “Okay,” and gave me a mild smile. That was that.
My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t sure why. After all, this is my husband, a fellow believer. He fasts occasionally. Why did I hesitate?
I’m at SheLoves Magazine again this month, talking about the fierce, fearful work of belonging–come join in!
Yes Is a Heart-Stopping, Unpredictable, Wonderful Adventure
I can relate. Sometimes when mg family is eating and I want my brothers and parents to pray, I feel embarrassed and think they might not want to, despite all of us being Christians that pray every night. I even feel embarrassed to pray sometimes in my youth group. I pray that God gets rid of that shyness and makes me more humble in public as well.
Oh, Father, I pray that Hugo would feel your pull, that he would feel freedom to be who you created him to be. Thank you so much for your honesty, Hugo–for sharing your struggle with us. It’s so hard to be real with other people, even our families, even other believers.