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Heather Caliri: Awkward Christian

Awkward Christian

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My empowering ‘can’t-do’ attitude

January 15, 2014 //  by Heather

Something weird has been happening to me lately. I’ll give you a for-instance.

It had been a long night, with various squabbles among my children, my husband, and me. I was upstairs, licking my wounds, and feeling unsettled.

Also, it was the Sabbath. I have been turning off my phone on the Sabbath.

My phone has a Spider Solitaire game. Playing it is a little worn rabbit’s foot I can run my fingers over.

In that moment, I wish I could say I was longing for peace, or for God’s presence, but what I really wanted was black and red cards lined up in comforting columns, and the ability to move a card with a satisfying swish of my finger.

Bliss.

I picked up my phone. I set it down. Picked it up.

Then I sighed and put it down one last time. I know from previous Sabbaths that there is a blessing that comes from doing without. It does not feel good in the moment, but at the end of the day it is cleansing and freeing.

Still, though, I was uncomfortable, and I did not want to be. The idea of doing anything soul-uplifting in that moment almost nauseated me. Pray? Read a good book? I simply couldn’t.

So I did something much smaller.

I’m over at SheLoves today, sharing about finding Jesus in my ticky-tack neediness, and everywhere. Join me?

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