Can I make a really weird confession to you? I love books. And sometimes I feel anxiety about them. I was an English major, and I’m a writer. My love of books is a huge part of why I started homeschooling. We check out dozens of books at a time from the library. We are …
When Asking a Simple Question Tears Open Your Heart
“Wait, I didn’t know you had a brother and sister,” Renee said. We were in my pool. The aqua color reflected the sky canopy overhead. It was Tucson hot, not as hot as Phoenix hot, but hot enough. On the radio in summer, they counted the number of days over one hundred degrees, and it …
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in your face love: #wordmadeart
Generally, as an artist, if the idea of creating something makes you want to weep, it is golden and you must immediately do it. This was one of those projects. The prompt was to use pop-up book techniques to transform one of the Bible pages. My parents brought back some old photos from my grandma’s house. Among …
Caregiving Expands Your Heart
What do I dislike most about homeschooling? I am around my kids almost all the time. What do I like best about it? I am around my kids almost all the time. My kids are asking questions at 10 am, all in my business at noon, and just starting their second wind at 3:30. They expect my attention …
the spirituality of housework
For a long time, I felt ashamed of how routine my faith was. I felt ashamed that I could say a prayer without thinking about it too much, or read the Bible without deep study, or be in a worship service without soul transformation. After I had kids, it only got worse. I spent most of my …
It’s darker and more beautiful to start with the nothingness inside: One Woman’s Yes with Esther Emery
Oh, guys, you’re in for a treat. Esther Emery chatted with me for an hour about faith, and motherhood, and realizing she’s not a porcelain person, and I was blessed. I think you will be too. Her writing and life always remind me that I have choices. About everything. Which is heady and wonderful and terrifying and bold. Won’t you …
Move as if the hounds of hell are after you–for SheLoves Magazine
When I walk long distances, I pay a price. It’s a relatively minor one: an ache in my hip that sends tentacles down to my knee. It’s an annoyance, mostly. Sometimes it makes it hard to fall asleep. I feel it after I take an hour’s walk on the beach on Sunday mornings, toes sinking …
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Bright, Lucky and Sweet
My sister called on a day that wasn’t working. My three-month old daughter was supposed to nap at noon. Like most nights, I hadn’t slept well, and was exhausted instead of rested in the morning. I was hungry for sleep at 9, yearning by 10:23, biding time anxiously at 11:15 and 11:37. When noon came …
the surprising gift of resentment
I looked at my monthly calendar and sighed. It was the twenty-fifth, and that meant it was time to write down what had gone well—and not so well—that month for homeschooling. Except I didn’t want to. I knew I was supposed to. I was supposed to be tracking how my children were doing, taking notes …
You don’t look like sisters: for the SheLoves synchroblog
“That’s funny—you don’t look like sisters,” the woman said. My sister Katie and I were facing away from the ocean and making chit-chat with this stranger whose kids played with mine. Behind us, my daughters were digging a hole for themselves, the chilly Pacific saltwater splashing over their chubby legs. I looked at my sister, and …
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Life Is Process, Not Product
I like checking things off lists. Dishes? Check. Returning emails? Check. Meeting goals? Check. There’s a cleanliness to a completed task, a finished goal, a project brought to fruition. But I’m realizing that the most important things in my life can’t be checked off. Because there isn’t a point where they’re done, or finished. They …
Honor’s promise: simple as buttered toast
My kids do something that drives me crazy. I say, “Come here,” and they look me in the eye, turn, and run in the opposite direction. They’re fast. It’s not always easy to catch up with them. And the whole point is that I don’t want to chase them. I just want them to do …
Unschool part 4: passion will surprise you
In high school, I hated studying Spanish grammar. Hated. (No really, with a passion.) I did not want to memorize whether muchedumbre was masculine or feminine. I did not want to make flashcards of verb endings. I found grammar both tedious and unintelligible. Then two years ago, I started trying to get back my Spanish …
Brain, Child: Relieving myself
So I’m honored to have an old essay of mine up on Brain, Child‘s website today. It’s an amazing magazine that helps me process my journey through motherhood with wit, insight, and just the tiniest bit of irony. First off, go subscribe NOW. This magazine is such an antidote to our culture’s narrative of parenthood. Not …
Dream your wildest dream: One Woman’s Yes with Kathy Khang
A few months ago, I wrote a post that quoted Kathy Khang: ““But to find your voice can be dangerous because you have to choose things and take risks and speak.” Then I waxed poetic about her bravery, amazed that she might find it hard to use her voice. Kathy was kind enough to stop …
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The Danger of Losing Purpose When We Hustle
Note: This post is for ALL people who care for others: kids, the elderly, students, whatever. And by no means am I saying that everyone should homeschool. You do you, no matter what. If you don’t know what unschooling is, go here. To see all posts in this series, go here. Caminante, son tus huellas …
The Insanely Productive Habit of Being Gentle with Yourself
I have a morning habit that grounds me and strengthens me every day. I look forward to it, and depend on it to give me some equilibrium. I manage to make it a priority, no matter what. What is it? It’s reading advice columns while I drink a cup of tea. You thought I was …
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Beware of one-size-fits-all solutions
Note: This post is for ALL people who care for others: kids, the elderly, students, whatever. And by no means am I saying that everyone should homeschool. You do you, no matter what. If you don’t know what unschooling is, go here. To see all posts in this series, go here. When they hear we …
Learn to Trust Yourself and You’ll Learn to Hear God
Note: This post is for ALL people who care for others: kids, the elderly, students, whatever. And by no means am I saying that everyone should homeschool. You do you, no matter what. If you don’t know what unschooling is, go here. To see all posts in this series, go here. One of the recurring …
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What is unschooling?
I got an email in my inbox from a reader yesterday. It was quite to the point: “What is unschooling?” she asked. Which made me realize that my last post might have left out a few pertinent details. So I’m including my answer to her, along with a few reading recommendations. “Unschooling” is a sort …
When You Care for Others Gracefully, You Experience Grace
Note: This post is for ALL people who care for others: kids, the elderly, students, whatever. And by no means am I saying that everyone should homeschool. You do you, no matter what. This month I interviewed Addie Zierman, and she talked how the phrase “intentional parenting” makes her anxious. As we chatted, I …
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A life of hidden beauty: One Woman’s Yes with Addie Zierman
Addie Zierman’s lyrical memoir When We Were On Fire chronicled the her faith crisis before she had kids. Since she wrote her book, she often gets asked the question, “How then will you raise your kids?” She has trouble answering. So, of course, I made her talk about it for a half-hour. Here’s how Addie is …
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Stay in the messy place
Picture this: my child finds a plastic, battery-powered pottery wheel at the thrift store. I express concern that this particular tool may not be worth the money, but she is excited and pulls out her cash. Later, she is ready to use it. I look at the instructions. They talk about “wedging” and “centering.” …
In the empty spaces
Before we left for a six-month sabbatical in Buenos Aires, everyone agreed on one thing. “Kids are resilient,” everyone said. “Throw them with Argentine kids for five minutes and they’ll playing together. Your kids will be fine.” And my kids were fine, and they are resilient. But did my kids dive into a new culture without any hesitation, …