“I’m waiting for us to get there,” my four-year-old told me. We were on the way to her second gymnastics class, the cars on the freeway breezing by us, the sky blue and adorned with soft wisps of clouds. We’d been in the car about two minutes. “I hear you, honey,” I told her from …
One less thing
I have saved the world many times. Or—at least—I have tried. I switched to organic vegetables, I subscribed to a CSA. I tried being vegetarian for a week–and ate a double bacon cheeseburger on day seven. I made all my Christmas gifts one year. I have volunteered for hospice and signed up for high school …
Change Comes from Choosing
Originally over at Suzannah Paul’s site. When my kids are angry, I have a religious experience. Sometimes my children rage, wild-eyed. Or they are cold, whispering “Bad Mama, bad Mama,” their lips curling in a smile. Or they destroy something and drop it at my feet, in shards or shreds. Jesus says to bless those …
White and clueless about race? Here’s the secret to changing that. Well, the clueless part.
Do you ever feel guilty about how homogenous your friends are? Do you avoid multicultural situations or conversations about race and ethnicity because you’re terrified of making a mistake? Do you wish you knew how to get over yourself and follow Christ’s lead as a reconciler? I’m learning a ton from Christena Cleveland’s wise posts on …
White and clueless about race? Here’s the secret to changing that. Well, the clueless part.Read More
Jesus in the Loveliness
(Originally published on (in)courage). I had about a half-hour to spend time with God. My two children, three and six, were happy in front of a video. For now. To be a mother is to hurry, but it was Sunday, and the sky was a swirl of white on blue. We’d recently moved back to …
You Shouldn’t Follow My Spiritual Practices
The only music I have on my iPhone is scripture set to music. I try to listen to songs at least once a week. I’m finding having the Bible verses running through my head all day really encouraging. It helps my anxiety; in moments where the ugly self-critic starts up, I have ready songs to …
Shouldn’t I be doing more? and other impossible questions
A new friend of mine from church came over for dinner the other day. She was looking at the homespun art we pin up to the walls: swirls of watercolor, stick figures and drawings. “I see you teach them about God,” she said approvingly. I glanced at the wall, surprised, feeling like a fraud. Why …
Shouldn’t I be doing more? and other impossible questionsRead More
We Are Promised Peace. Really.
Bedtime went awry for no very good reason. I was done after a long day. Or: I decided it was a long day, and absolved myself from using kind words and polite questions. As my kids pulled on pajamas and brush teeth, I found myself yelling at someone taking too long to brush their teeth. …
People ask me how Argentina was. I have a hard time answering.
People keep asking me how our family’s six months in Argentina were. I have a hard time answering. There’s the sexy part: I prayed in an Ecuadorian church, rode horses in the Argentine countryside, and once carried 10,000 pesos stashed in my boot. But I also washed dishes, tried to find palatable soy milk, and fretted …
People ask me how Argentina was. I have a hard time answering.Read More
Book of Common Prayer: FAQ for non-Anglicans*
Welcome to the Book of Common Prayer! We’re so glad you’re here. We know you feel a little self-conscious breaking open a book of liturgy for a church you’ve never actually attended. But don’t worry! We’re here to help. Remember: you’re alone. No one can see you make a fool of yourself except God, and …
I release you
I know this will shock you. Sometimes people disappoint me. I know, I know, obvious. But if it’s so obvious, why is it so hard to deal with? One of my biggest Achilles heels is an abundance of high expectations. Not just with myself, but with those around me. And sometimes, when others don’t meet my …
The Keeper of the Keys
My daughter lost one of the keys to our apartment. Thankfully, it was not the key that opens the front door or the back door. Instead, she lost the key to the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom. She liked playing with it when she was bored, moving the thin deadbolt back and forth, a tongue slipping in and …
The love I have is enough
It’s called Plaza de Bolivia, a wedge-shaped expanse of green with two fenced playgrounds, a carousel, and plenty of sunbathing city-dwellers. It’s sandwiched in-between a busy train track and Avenida del Libertador, an eight-lane boulevard filled with taxis and buses. The high-rises along the Avenida are a mountain blocking the sun. And in the middle of it all, …
Playing at worship
I love a good list. Even if the task is unpleasant, I grit my teeth and don’t procrastinate. This might sound like a good thing. But when it comes to connecting to Jesus, my type A personality has often robbed me of joy. Since I became a Christian, I’ve known that daily connection to God …
Losing my wallet, my keys and (sometimes) my religion
It is hard for me to say this out loud, but I’m always afraid of losing my faith. I imagine it slipping it out of my fingers and being gone forever. But a recent incident made me realize how backwards I have this narrative. And I found freedom realizing who, exactly, is in control of …
Losing my wallet, my keys and (sometimes) my religionRead More
Let’s Cheer Others On
I’m amazed at the astonishing affect friendship has on grammar. When I’m surrounded by people I know here, people with whom I have shared history, years of relationship, and hours and hours of great anecdotes, I feel confident and eloquent in Spanish. I can make jokes, understand stories, and say complex things. When, on the …
How to Make Your Dreams Come True
Here it is. Let’s all take a deep breath. Become a beginner. Not an expert. Not yet. First, you must start someplace. A start, a beginning, will humble you and bring you to your knees. Stay there a while. Consider what it is to start something. Starting a healthier lifestyle, or a new way of …
Fear’s Pot of Gold
The other day, one of my kids–previously afraid of slides–tugged my hand. “Mama will you catch me? I am going to do this slide.” She climbed to the top, and paused. I could see her thinking. Then she let go. It was a steep one, and I almost didn’t catch her before she hit the …