Awkward Christian
This is going to make me sound like a misanthrope, but I hate greeting people on Sundays. At my church’s weekly service, a pastor gives the announcements, dismisses the children for Sunday school, and then cheerfully announces that we should greet the people around us in the pews. On the worst days, they give us …
When I Hate Greeting People on Sundays: For SheLovesRead More
Last summer, I went to a reunion of sorts. We gathered in the glistening kitchen of someone I’ve known since high school, drinking margaritas. I met all of the people there decades ago at my church, though we don’t all see each other as often any more. Still, we know each other’s histories. I asked …
Jazz Hands and All the Ways I Feel Powerful: For SheLovesRead More
Ever since the election last year, I have wanted to resist. In my introversion and general lack of political activist skill, this has been a mixed bag of efforts. I have attended protests. I have called my congressional representatives. I have signed petitions and read articles. I have prayed with undocumented people. I have also …
A half hour from my house stands an icon I used to rarely think about. The San Ysidro Port of Entry is considered one of the busiest border crossings in the world. About 300,000 people commute back and forth every day through this entry point. The political boundary between the U.S. and Mexico also marks the border …
My small group started two weeks ago. I was surprised—really surprised—to feel excited about that. When I joined the group at the beginning of last year, I didn’t expect to stay more than a few months. I had my arms crossed rather tightly across my chest during the first meeting. And the second meeting. And the …
I Hated My Church’s Small Groups. And Then I Returned.Read More
A few months ago, a reader emailed me a message that’s haunted me ever since. Her husband had been unfaithful several times and, from what I could tell from a short message, showed no sign of repentance. She struggled with trust issues, she said, and asked if I would pray God would help her trust …
One Prayer God Never Wants You to Pray: For iBeleiveRead More
The other day at Disneyland, my roller-coaster-averse family decided to ride Indiana Jones together—the first time for my two daughters, 11 and 7. Standing in line, my husband started to strategize. “You should ask for one of the back rows,” he said. The “Jeeps” for the ride have four rows—and sitting the first one is …
How Facing Conversations About Race Has Made Me Less Anxious: For Cara MeredithRead More
I wanted my first days of motherhood to affirm my faith in humanity. Instead, I found myself alienated and alone. Like many of us, I’m usually reluctant to ask for help, so before birth, I’d made a solemn promise to myself and God that I would ask for assistance, no matter how hard it was. …
When You Don’t Get the Help You Desperately Need: for iBelieveRead More
Dear Awkward, Several years ago, our family got involved in fostering children with significant medical needs. The nudge to do so came from the teachings of our church…to love God and to love people. But, the very church family who encouraged us to jump in did not throw the life-preserver we expected. Fostering got hard. …
Dear Portia, I keep praying for healing, and I am not healed, but someone else in my circle did get healed and I am trying to be okay with this but I am not. A Dear A, Is it even possible to ad your question without using some sort of offensive platitude? Let’s attempt it, …
When my friend Amy told me about her impromptu Fourth of July party, I didn’t want her news to be a punch in the gut. Her gathering had been last-minute: four families my husband and I had recently befriended had celebrated with a casual barbecue. Not knowing our schedule as well as they knew each …
5 Truths about Community that Will Help You Feel Less LonelyRead More
To my great surprise, I discovered I was a high soprano in Grade 8. I’d thought before that I was a mezzo (or middle) soprano, but your voice changes a lot as you grow. What my choir director and I had assumed was a falsetto, turned out to be where my voice had the most power. …
Beauty Has Saved Me Over and Over: For SheLoves MagazineRead More
I was 22 when I read Sandra Cisneros’ The House on Mango Street. The book, told from the perspective of a young Latina girl, chronicles the hardships of growing up in a marginalized, impoverished family. The book was simple like a Zen garden is simple: gorgeous, spare, shimmering. In other words, not simple at all. …
The Uncomfortable, But Necessary Cost of Solidarity: For SheLoves MagazineRead More
I’m doing a five-part series on questions to ask about your closest relationships to figure out if they might be the root of some anxieties. You can see the whole series here. A friend of mine was sexually abused in high school. Her abuser kept her from ending their “relationship” for two years by regularly threatening …
Anxiety in Relationships: Does this person threaten me?Read More
I’m amazed at how when I stop being afraid of my negative emotions they give me such helpful information about how to heal and live with integrity. My friend Dorothy Greco agreed to share some of her wise book on marriage with us on just that topic. She gracefully shares how disappointment can harm our relationship–or …
Want to read this entire series? Go here. If you suffer from anxiety, it’s tempting to view it as if it were an addiction we bring only on ourselves. I thought this way for a long time—if I were a better, stronger, more intentional person, I’d be able to stop feeling anxious all on my own. …
Five Questions to Ease Anxiety In Your RelationshipsRead More
Can I confess something? I dislike Father Brown. G.K. Chesterton, august Christian apologist, whose prose helped convert C.S. Lewis, created the humble everypriest sleuth. In each story, the curate faces down the sharpest criminal minds in England and wipes the floor with them—with Christian charity, of course. I have no beef with the writing. In …
“Do We Not Bleed”, a book review for The Englewood Review of BooksRead More
My friend Jenna and I were chatting via email the other day, and she said I might want to write about this holiday phenomenon: “sitting at the table and breaking bread with those who have wounded us or settled us with emotional baggage or sent us into adulthood with stuff we’ve had to work through …
I have two very simple questions for you today. What is your biggest challenge right now? How can I help? Allison Fallon asked these questions a while ago of her readers, and I love how simple and profound they are. It’s crazy, being able to connect to live human beings over the internet, and such …
The amazing DL Mayfield’s book, Assimilate or Go Home, releases next week, and I am SO EXCITED. I wanted to participate in her celebration of the book’s themes and of her work. Anyway, I’ve started to read the book; it’s a must for anyone who wants to know who their neighbor is, and how to …
A half hour from my house stands an icon I used to rarely think about. It doesn’t look like much: stopped cars on a wide freeway, a low-lying government building. And in red letters, on a white overhang, a sign: Mexico. The San Ysidro Port of Entry is considered one of the busiest border crossings in …
The Wall I Pretended Not to See: For You Are Here StoriesRead More
Not long ago, I wrote here about platform. (For those of you who don’t speak marketing, that’s the readership and reach of a particular writer). Some of my readership goals had stalled out, and I was struggling with my bitterness and fear about success and failure. I got a bunch of kind comments, and also …
“Forward:” it’s a Little House on the Prarie sort of word, isn’t it? A word from the days of long skirts and corsets and hair done up with pins. Forward is a woman who presumes too much. Who insinuates herself into unwelcome company. Or, worse, forward is a shameless, wayward woman. A woman transgressing. A woman crossing boundaries of politeness …
I wanted to look forward to my older sister’s visit last year. But I was not entirely successful. It had been almost five years since Katie had last stayed at my house in San Diego. Lately, we’ve been growing closer, and last year I visited her a few times in Michigan. But her coming to …
