Awkward Christian
The Bible first shocked me in high school. Our pastor read from Psalm 137, and the last verse blew my mind—and not in a good way. It read, “Happy is the one who seizes [Babylonian] infants and dashes them against the rocks.” I recoiled. Our pastor explained that the Psalm was meant to horrify us. …
5 Ways the Lament Psalms Carry Us in Troubled TimesRead More
If I knew anything for certain when I was a child, it was that I was not the artist of the family—my older sister Katie was. Looking at her work, I knew I’d never be as good as her. I wouldn’t even be in the same universe as her. Anyway, I had my own ‘talents’: …
I spent fifteen years of my life dancing. Everyone gasps at the show-stopper steps, but I’ll tell you a secret: the bedrock of ballet is the “transition” steps: the rather quotidian, easy movements that three-year-olds learn their very first class. A plie is a straight-up knee-bend. First position places your heels together, toes turned out, …
I knew I had gone deep into researching the End Times when I came across the phrase “immanentize the eschaton,” which—forgive me—sounds like something Han Solo would do to fix the hyperdrive on the Millennium Falcon. The actual meaning of the phrase? To “…bring about the…the final, heaven-like stage of history.” It was the rallying cry …
What Do Christians Believe about the End Times?—for iBelieveRead More
We all have weird things we dislike. Some people don’t like mayonnaise. Some people don’t like dogs or synthetic fabric or Cincinnati. My pet peeve is the phrase “spiritual gifts”. I’m a little embarrassed that this phrase makes me cranky, especially because my church of thirty years talks about spiritual gifts A LOT. All our …
It’s never good when your kindergartner sees blood dribbling down your chin. It started with the oral surgery. Receding gums meant a graft of tissue from the roof of my mouth to the overexposed teeth. I was expecting the surgery to be uncomfortable, expected my gums to be sore. What I did not expect was …
The Tender Necessity of Taking Care of Myself: for SheLovesRead More
When I was first trying to write regularly twenty years ago, I could not, for the life of me, finish anything. At the time, I was trying to write fiction. I wrote one story about a husband and wife making a hard decision over the phone. I could hear their voices in my head, imagine …
For twenty years after I graduated, I told people I’d had a good experience in my high school youth group. It was my first church experience, I’d formed my first faith community there, played an active role in leadership, met friends I still have connections to, and learned how to live out my faith. Then, …
4 Things I’ve Learned from My Own #MeToo Story: for iBelieveRead More
At least once a day, I find myself scrolling through posts on Facebook looking for…something. Here’s the problem: I don’t know what I’m looking for, but I itch to be entertained. Maybe by a juicy bit of internet outrage? A snappy food video? Cats in costume? Often while I’m wasting my time, my children are …
3 Surprising Ways to Stop Digital Distraction: For iBelieveRead More
One of the main reasons I stay at my church is also one of the things I dislike most about it. This is it: it’s a large institution. I go to a biggish Presbyterian church. A “Presbyterian” church is literally a church governed by “presbyters”—Greek for elders, or leaders. That’s one of the big reasons …
This is going to make me sound like a misanthrope, but I hate greeting people on Sundays. At my church’s weekly service, a pastor gives the announcements, dismisses the children for Sunday school, and then cheerfully announces that we should greet the people around us in the pews. On the worst days, they give us …
When I Hate Greeting People on Sundays: For SheLovesRead More
You would think that when you feel horrified, ashamed, and terrified, you would know you are feeling horrified, ashamed, and terrified. But in my experience, that’s not a given. Take one twilight, about two years ago. Someone that knows my family well invited me to a Facebook group along with some other people I trust. In the …
In college, when I read Psalm 119, I underlined the first verse: “Happy are those whose way is blameless.” Next to it, I wrote, “Is anyone happy?“ At the time, I thought my way was blameless. I was a student leader in Campus Crusade for Christ (Cru)’s ministry. I read my Bible and prayed regularly. …
God Takes Happiness Seriously—and So Should You: for RelevantRead More
I really wanted to get excited with Martha. But instead, I felt panicky. At the playground with our kids, she was telling me about a powerful sermon she heard with her husband. “The preacher pointed out that if every Christian family in the US were to adopt, there would be no children in the foster care system. …
Here was my number-one priority as a new parent: I did not want to abuse my kids. It seems like a pretty obvious goal, but truth was, I didn’t trust myself to achieve it. As a kid, I witnessed just how easily violence can take root. So I read, and sought advice from friends, and …
Caring for People Has Led Me Smack-Dab into God’s LoveRead More
Last summer, I went to a reunion of sorts. We gathered in the glistening kitchen of someone I’ve known since high school, drinking margaritas. I met all of the people there decades ago at my church, though we don’t all see each other as often any more. Still, we know each other’s histories. I asked …
Jazz Hands and All the Ways I Feel Powerful: For SheLovesRead More
Once upon a time, I told God to start sounding more like Cheryl Strayed. You might have heard of Strayed’s most famous book, Wild, which featured Reese Witherspoon chucking a hiking boot over a cliff. Strayed is also the advice columnist Sugar, originally on The Rumpus and now a podcast from WBUR. I love Strayed’s …
Last night, I told my husband I was going for a walk. I put on my athleisure shoes and set out into the darkness of our street. When I got to the corner, I paused for a moment and then—feeling a little ridiculous—I started to jog. I’m not a runner. I ran in high school …
Ever since the election last year, I have wanted to resist. In my introversion and general lack of political activist skill, this has been a mixed bag of efforts. I have attended protests. I have called my congressional representatives. I have signed petitions and read articles. I have prayed with undocumented people. I have also …
I used to hate praying. Let me qualify that statement so you don’t think I’m completely beyond redemption: I’ve always thought prayer was essential for faith. At the right moments—say, praying with other people—I loved laying hands on someone and lifting up their need to God. I loved when others prayed for me. I longed …
A half hour from my house stands an icon I used to rarely think about. The San Ysidro Port of Entry is considered one of the busiest border crossings in the world. About 300,000 people commute back and forth every day through this entry point. The political boundary between the U.S. and Mexico also marks the border …
Not that long ago, I was cleaning out a drawer in our living room and came across a treasure: a “Give Thanks” banner I crafted for November decoration. Often, we hang birthday or Christmas or New Year’s banners as part of our holiday decorations. I love the homemade signs; I love the visual reminder to …
Three Ideas for When You Feel Anxious About ThanksgivingRead More
My small group started two weeks ago. I was surprised—really surprised—to feel excited about that. When I joined the group at the beginning of last year, I didn’t expect to stay more than a few months. I had my arms crossed rather tightly across my chest during the first meeting. And the second meeting. And the …
I Hated My Church’s Small Groups. And Then I Returned.Read More
First I’m going to talk to you about the Bible and being beloved, and then I’m going to talk to you about politics. The other day I had a conversation with a new Christian in which she expressed some negative feelings about the Bible. To my surprise, her words shocked me. I thought, doesn’t she know …
