I keep praying for healing, and I am not healed, but someone else in my circle did get healed and I am trying to be okay with this but I am not.
Is it even possible to address your question without using some sort of unhelpful or even offensive platitude?
Let’s attempt it, shall we? And if I fail, feel free to ignore my advice with disdainful panache.
Last week I sat on a balcony eating ice cream with a delightful and earnest college student I hardly knew. She will be moving away in a few weeks. In that weird way that being strangers forges immediate intimacy, we shared our life stories with each other. I know from crazy childhoods; hers definitely qualified.
As the sun dropped, sighing, into the ocean, she asked me an question. She asked, hesitantly, how I overcame the trauma from my childhood and found intimacy and relationship with my husband.
Looking at her, my heart ached. Because I knew the fear behind her question, one I felt acutely at her age, so ridiculously young: what if I’m so jacked up I never get married?
And I told her, honestly, that I couldn’t really answer her question, because there were no guarantees about life partners, or marriage, or children. That I knew a lot of vibrant, healthy, awesome people who never married, through no lack of trying. And that it’s not “being jacked up” that holds anyone back from marriage or family, but simple, brutal demographics.
Not everyone gets married when they expect, or at all. Not everyone can have children. Period.
And: not everyone finds healing. The statistics on that are even more brutal than the pool of marriageable Christian men or the number of viable eggs in our ovaries.
But I know you know that. It’s not statistical knowledge you need. It’s some sort of comfort. So…